So my birthday’s coming up soon and I’m turning 20 which is pretty exciting but I can’t lie and say that I’m not afraid. I think we all get that anxious feeling which is normal as we grow older we start having a change of thoughts and feelings and sometimes you feel like you don’t know what you want. However, as hard as it was for me to deal with my teen years I’m only hoping it gets easier from here. But I’m honestly so grateful to have learned so many important things at such a young age that many people have a hard time learning when they’re older.
Like, not caring about what others perceive of me because at the end of the day it’s my life and I live by my own choices. I want to be happy with the way I look, with the way I talk, with the way I feel. Other people’s opinions don’t matter and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone if I choose not to. That’s the first thing I learned. The second thing I learned is that my needs are just as important as others. I feel like I’ve really neglected myself over the years and I’ve always done things for other people and I never really payed any attention to myself. And it’s been awful, it started like that and it turned into a cycle of self hate which was too much to handle. I guess I didn’t treat myself as a priority when I should’ve. I’ve made my mistakes and now I know that I deserve better and that I should be treated as such. But, it’s okay I’m always learning and I’m still growing and i know that it’ll only get better from here.
I also learned how to have faith in myself even through the most difficult times when I felt like I couldn’t make it. Growing up especially during my early teens I was always lacking support, I never felt seen or heard. But I know it won’t always be that way. I’m grateful that I got to pick myself up every time I broke, I’m grateful that I’ve carried so much strength during some of my lowest moments in life. I became the support that I needed, I became the motivation I needed and that’s what I want to take in when I’m entering my twenties. In my twenties I want to focus on myself and give myself everything that I desire. This isn’t just for me but whether you’re in your early twenties or your late twenties I just hope you know that this is your time and it’s not too late. It’s not too late for you to do what brings you joy and happiness and don’t allow people’s opinions be the factor of that. You still have time, and you’re capable of it. But it’s also okay to not have it all figured out, it’s okay that some of the goals you’re trying to reach are taking a bit more time. Its okay to take breaks every now and then for your mental health. It’s really okay please understand that. Nothing will ruin your twenties more than stressing yourself out thinking that you should have it all together. I know that I have so many things that I’m looking forward to, I can’t wait to visit new places, meet new people, make some of the best memories and just live my best life. Although I know it’s tough right now because of the pandemic and all but it’s so important to remember that we still have time. We still have time and it will always get better keep that in mind.
xoxo, L 💋
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