So my birthday’s coming up soon and I’m turning 20 which is pretty exciting but I can’t lie and say that I’m not afraid. I think we all get that anxious feeling which is normal as we grow older we start having a change of thoughts and feelings and sometimes you feel like you don’t know what you want. However, as hard as it was for me to deal with my teen years I’m only hoping it gets easier from here. But I’m honestly so grateful to have learned so many important things at such a young age that many people have a hard time learning when they’re older.
Like, not caring about what others perceive of me because at the end of the day it’s my life and I live by my own choices. I want to be happy with the way I look, with the way I talk, with the way I feel. Other people’s opinions don’t matter and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone if I choose not to. That’s the first thing I learned. The second thing I learned is that my needs are just as important as others. I feel like I’ve really neglected myself over the years and I’ve always done things for other people and I never really payed any attention to myself. And it’s been awful, it started like that and it turned into a cycle of self hate which was too much to handle. I guess I didn’t treat myself as a priority when I should’ve. I’ve made my mistakes and now I know that I deserve better and that I should be treated as such. But, it’s okay I’m always learning and I’m still growing and i know that it’ll only get better from here.
I also learned how to have faith in myself even through the most difficult times when I felt like I couldn’t make it. Growing up especially during my early teens I was always lacking support, I never felt seen or heard. But I know it won’t always be that way. I’m grateful that I got to pick myself up every time I broke, I’m grateful that I’ve carried so much strength during some of my lowest moments in life. I became the support that I needed, I became the motivation I needed and that’s what I want to take in when I’m entering my twenties. In my twenties I want to focus on myself and give myself everything that I desire. This isn’t just for me but whether you’re in your early twenties or your late twenties I just hope you know that this is your time and it’s not too late. It’s not too late for you to do what brings you joy and happiness and don’t allow people’s opinions be the factor of that. You still have time, and you’re capable of it. But it’s also okay to not have it all figured out, it’s okay that some of the goals you’re trying to reach are taking a bit more time. Its okay to take breaks every now and then for your mental health. It’s really okay please understand that. Nothing will ruin your twenties more than stressing yourself out thinking that you should have it all together. I know that I have so many things that I’m looking forward to, I can’t wait to visit new places, meet new people, make some of the best memories and just live my best life. Although I know it’s tough right now because of the pandemic and all but it’s so important to remember that we still have time. We still have time and it will always get better keep that in mind.
What is beauty? What does it mean to be beautiful or feel beautiful? that’s something I’ve always thought about. I’ve always wanted to know what it meant or what it felt like and I think as I’m growing up I’m starting to understand it a little bit more. You see, beauty to me isn’t just your outer self it’s more about your inner self. Anybody can look so stunning on the outside but you see how ugly they become by the way they treat others. To me, beautiful people are gentle, tender, kind and compassionate.
Audrey Hepburn has always been an inspiration to me when it came to beauty, elegance and grace. I loved her charm and I’ve always wished to be more like her. I loved the way she carried herself and the way she made people’s heads turn around whenever she was in the room. It made me upset when I’ve seen in one of her interviews that she didn’t think she was all that pretty and that she didn’t like her body and some of her face features. I thought to myself if this woman whom i adored didn’t think or feel that she was beautiful how could i? She wished she had some curves to her body and i wish i didn’t have any. It’s strange when you think about beauty. A common phrase i remembered hearing over and over again was “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I’ll be honest, that quote really stuck with me because it’s true. How many times have we compared ourselves to other people and then our friends would go and say something like ‘oh she’s not that pretty’ or ‘she only looks good because of her makeup.’ I can guarantee that almost everyone has felt that way before and don’t worry it’s something we’ve all done to cope with our insecurities.
But, let me tell you this real beauty is within. When you make the people around you feel good, when you’re kind and caring and loving that’s what’s really beautiful. You might not feel it, you might not know what others perceive of you but you’ll start to notice how your treatment affects others. Reassurance is a beautiful a thing and reminding people of how loved and how important they are to exist is incredible. It doesn’t just make the other person feel better but it also makes you feel better too. Because we often see what others don’t, I don’t know how I look from another person’s point of view; none of us do until we get told by other people. With that being said, you never really notice the unique qualities you have until someone points them out. Isn’t that amazing? like you could’ve complained about your hair or your style or your body and then you come to a realization that it’s what makes you different and that’s good. Just by being yourself unapologetically makes you beautiful and all your cute little flaws and all your qualities that you hate the most are what makes you, you and that’s how you stand out. So beauty to me is just being yourself, but also being kind. So many of us struggle with our insecurities and have our own battles, we might or might not understand other people’s circumstances so it’s always better to be kind. Especially when it comes to you, and the things you’re going through be gentle with yourself i know it’s hard but please remember that you are enough and that you are beautiful. And, remember when there’s beauty in the inside beauty will radiate from the outside.
With all the crazy things that’s happening in our world it can be hard to remain hopeful and positive. We all go through difficult problems and feel mentally drained sometimes. But, as hard as things may seem we always have to keep our head up. Hope is a beautiful thing and you’ll start to see how everything will work out for you because you let yourself believe that they will. One thing that definitely helps for me and for so many people is writing down affirmations. Reading them out loud daily and repetitively thinking about them you will believe them and they will happen to you. The power is in you and in your mind and whatever you tell yourself will start happening.
Another thing that can help you be more positive is definitely changing your routine and switching things up. Maybe start working out, practice a new hobby, expand your knowledge by reading more? anything but staying the same. I know we all love doing nothing and just sit on our phones scroll through social media or watch netflix. But, that doesn’t really do anything to our mental health except damage it. You see people living their best lives and it makes you question your own. You’re not behind in life please remember that. I know social media has driven people into thinking they’re failures when their life hasn’t even begun yet. So try to avoid using your phone because it really affects your mental health and plays with your head.
Everything will happen for you, believe it. You will receive everything you wish for and you’ll be so happy when it happens. One thing i love about being optimistic and positive is having something to look forward to. Like my life right now may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it won’t change. That doesn’t mean that i won’t get the things i want from life. One quote that definitely changed my way of thinking was one that i found on pinterest that said “your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” Don’t just be kind to others, be kind to yourself. Feed your mind love, whatever you tell yourself you’ll believe it so say some good things about yourself. But take your time, I know it’s a struggle to stay positive but you’ll eventually get there.
I think with how our society is today we get so caught up in looking and comparing ourselves to other people that we forget about ourselves. We look at people on social media and imagine what it would be like to be them and daydream about it constantly. That’s the biggest mistake anyone could ever make, is not creating the person you want to be, not being the dream girl you always had the potential of being. You should be taking care of yourself, buying the best makeup, wearing the best clothes, taking care of your skin and body. It’s what you deserve. Include a lot of self care in your daily routine, it’s the closest thing to feeling angelic. Just by applying lip gloss or meditating or even writing down in your journal it could help you feel more soft and delicate inside. You should feel like you’re the most ethereal human being on the planet. It’s so important to remember that we’re all special and different in our own way. Comparison is the most toxic thing you could ever do to yourself because you shouldn’t feel like you’re not good enough or pretty enough because you are. It will take time but eventually you’ll realize how beautiful and unique you are. You’ll see the things other people saw in you that you didn’t notice before. Some of them may be your imperfections but that’s okay because we all have them. Some of your biggest insecurities can be seen as the prettiest things of all and that’s what beauty should feel like.